I have been working on this blog for the last
month. I have actually had to change it a few times because during the course
of this month, Keaton went from “about to graduate” to “just graduated”. In
honor of Mother’s Day I figured it was time to get it published. Hopefully it
brings a little smile to the hearts of anyone who struggles with feeling they are not enough or not doing enough for their kids.
I think that we all struggle with being enough for our kids.
We don’t want to mess them up or drive them away. We don’t want to ignore them.
We don’t want to do everything for them. Nowadays, there is advice for EVERY
scenario you can think of and sometimes its hard to weed out the fluff and feel
confident in knowing what you did or are doing as a mommy is/was what was best
for your kids and truly know in your heart that it doesn’t really matter what so-n-so did…..because EVERY
child is different….and EVERY family has different circumstances.
As I write this I think of where I am at with my three boys.
Keaton just graduated from college and will be heading off to grad school. He is official on his
way…adulthood!!! While he is
certainly smart enough and completely a well-rounded kid, I can’t help but
wonder if I “enjoyed” enough of the time I had with him?
Mason moved out last summer and is also attending college.
He lives a couple of hours away and due to his work, golf and school schedule
we don’t see each other often. He is doing well in school and we are so proud
of his “living on his own” (he does have a roommate). This is certainly a natural
progression of life, but I can’t help but wonder if I prepared him for all the things
he needs to know to be on his own?
Then there is Evan. The last one I have left to teach. And
literally I am teaching him. We embarked on a home schooling adventure this year
that has had its rewards and struggles.
I wouldn’t take back one moment of this year because I have loved being
with him, talking to him and just generally getting to know him. Yet I can’t
help but wonder, have I taught him well enough?
As I struggled with all these thoughts, all of a sudden I
realized…these are not my children. They are children of God. And if I am doing my best to follow
God’s commands in raising them…then I can only assume that I AM doing enough….that
I AM ENOUGH!
Then just like that
the seeds of doubt crept back in. Luckily, a couple of weeks ago while visiting
the Island, I went to our old church. (The timing of being in the middle of
this article was truly God inspired). People naturally asked how things were going. In all honesty, I thought I was doing
better. I mean, in all truthfulness, I hadn’t cried in a couple of months. But in that moment my friend touched on
something that I was clearly struggling with….my inadequacy as a home educator. She hugged me and said she would pray
for me, then she said these amazing words, “Evan will be alright!!!” He words
were so simple yet so profound. She went on to explain that there was no way
that he wasn’t learning and that I needed to stop doubting myself and listening
to “societies opinion of success and education”. In my heart, I do know all the learning that
happens in and outside our home. If anything I am probably trying to teach him
more because we are constantly together. But even so I had allowed the
negativities that I hear to affect my confidence.
I am not going to even go into detail or defend our life
choice, I am just going to heed those words, “Evan will be alright.” I am going
to keep my eyes on Jesus and keep doing the best that I can each day. And the
truth of the matter is that all three of my boys are “going to be alright”. Did
I make mistakes along the way in their lives? I am sure I did. Did I love them whole-heartedly
and unconditionally? You bet I did. Did I try to raise them with love for the Lord, respect for others and integrity? Without a doubt yes!
At the end of the day it doesn’t matter what anyone else
thinks-They are still God’s children entrusted to me to raise and I AM Enough
for them! Us mommies need to spend more time reflecting in God’s words and reminding
ourselves that we don’t have to be perfect or live up to someone else's expectation for our life.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good
works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians
2:10
Lets not spend anymore of the precious time we
have with our babies worrying about things we probably can't change or really don't need to do differently. Because in most instances you are already doing a fantastic job....need I say again, YOU are Enough!
Happy Belated Mother’s Day Friends!
~S
